we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
