what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
