I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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