It's just like the Real World with babies
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
