they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
