Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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