OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize