didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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