I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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