mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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