so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
