ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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