Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
