so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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