perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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