He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
