Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He passed out mid-signature
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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