He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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