I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
why do cheetos always look like penises
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize
