I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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