There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
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I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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