We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
