clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
