i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
