Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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