I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
wanna go halves on a baby?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
