my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
