; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
