i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
