I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
