I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm at about main and main street
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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