honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
