Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
