So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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