I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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