You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
