According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
