Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Randomize
