I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
