I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
