girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
