You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize