i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
