Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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