i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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