Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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