I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I intend to get homeless drunk
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
