I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
did i just pee glitter
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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