My nipple is on Facebook.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
