im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
