Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
