Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
