Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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