No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize