girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
