I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
