What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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