booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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