I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
