Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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