My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I still have a little drunk in my system
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
