Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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