You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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