I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
