Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
