why didn't you poke me back
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
