there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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