Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
