Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
