oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
