All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
